Beyond Birthday and the three humans
by Exploading albino potato
Summary: Beyond Birthday finds a lovely house while the three children who live in it it  Mello Matt and Near  are away helping L with a case. What will he do?


Beyond Birthday and the three humans.

"There's no more food!" yelled Mello looking in the fridge.

"We'll have to get some later shrugged Matt. But theres some bread and jam, we can have that."

"Yeah" muttered a pale boy named Near, who was playing with two robots.

The three successors of L all lived happily together in a cozy little cottage in the woods. And they were currently making breakfast one morning.

Matt put jam on his toast normally, while Near only put a very thin coating of the strawberry preserves on his, and Mello mixed his jam with chocolate sauce. They were just about to dig into their toast when the door knocked.

Near got up to answer it and found it to be none other than L, standing outside of a black limo, which looked very out of place in the green viney forest.

"You need to come, quickly we've got a case to work on." For a second there was a hint of a smile on the detectives mouth as he saw his successors surprised faces.

The blonde one smiled brightly and ran up to hug L. "Yay!" He shouted.

"But we haven't eaten breakfast or changed out of our pajamas." said Near emotionlessly.

"You NEVER change out of your pajamas!" Retorted Mello.

"Yes I do. I just change into another identical set. It's unsanitary to wear the same garments for prolonged time periods. The small boy replied.

"Yeah, whatever sheep boy."

5 minutes later after they had all left, Beyond Birthday came walking along the path that led to their house.

"La la la..." he sang randomly. (B sings when no one is around it's his secret) "Hey a house. Wonder who lives there..."

The door was locked so Beyond took out his knife (still bloody from the physcopath's last kill) and used it to pick the lock. When he got in he saw three pieces of toast, untouched on the table. Toast with strawberry jam.

"Yum! Jam!" BB exclaimed and picked up Near's piece, and took a bite.

"Ick this guy is a bad jam spreader. To much bread and not a sufficient amount of jam." The killer frowned.

Then he picked up Mello's and bit it, then spat it on the floor.

"GROSS! What is wrong with these people? Chocolate and jam?

He sighed and ate a pice of Matt's. It had enough jam and lacked chocolate sauce so he finished it and then decided to to explore the currently vacant cottage.

Beyond went into the living room and saw some items on the ground. A DS, some chocolate bars, and a tower of dice.

After tasting it with jam, B felt slightly disgusted by the chocolate, so instead of eating it he wrote 13 13 was here on the wall. And then picked up the DS. He tried the game for a bit but then felt bored and tripped over the dice tower and they scattered everywhere. BB was just too lazy to pick them up and plus it would take a very long time to build it back because it looked as though the person who built it had spent a few weeks on it.

Then Beyond decides to jump on the beds in each of the three bedrooms just for fun so he proceeded to do so. (And his bare feet were pretty dirty from the walk)

The first one was a sorta half made bed with a black and white striped blanket, (oh yes, and Beyond was doing more singing, about jam and knives, and corpses) the next one was all black and not made at all, so it wasn't really fun messing it up because the dirt didn't show and the blankets weren't folded or spread or anything. The last bed was totally white and very neat. BB found it entertaining to get all the dirt from his feet on the sheets and he also poked some of his used bloody weapons through the pillows and mattress so now there was blood AND dirt on the once snow colored blanket and pillows. Except while he was jumping he banged his head on the ceiling and fell on the bed and the physco blacked out.

Then in the middle of the night Mello, Near, and Matt were saying goodbye to L. They saw the toast on the table and Mello wondered aloud: "Why the fucking hell is my toast bitten?"

"Mine is too." Said Near.

"Well mine's all gone! Exclaimed Matt.

Then they walked into the living room to see if there were anymore clues to who could have done this.

"Hey!" the brunette said. "Why is my DS on?"

"My dice tower is knocked over!"

"And why the hell is 13 13 was here, written on the wall in chocolate?" Said a bewildered Mello.

"We had better see what else is damaged." Said Near.

"My bed is messed up!" Yelled the anger issue blonde.

"How do you tell, your bed is always messed up!" Asked Matt

"I can just tell, K?"

"Well my bed is wrecked too." The gamer informed. "And there is dirt on it"

"Well my bed is certainly not the way I left it AND there is someone sleeping in it!" Nate River exclaimed.

"Wake up you frigging idiot!" Yelled Mello.

But Beyond did not wake up.

Matt tried shaking him but when that still didn't work Near went and got a bucket of water and dumped it on BB's head.

"Ngh...where am I? Owww my head...oh right I remember, I was..." then he saw L's three successors glaring at him and realized he had been caught sleeping in Near's bed. (Oh my that sounds terribly disturbing) Crap.

"What the hell were you doing?" The chocoholic hollered.

"Oh I ate your toast and messed up your house."

"We noticed!" they all said in unison.

"Well I'm gonna have to kill you now...oh shit it's not your time to die. I'll one back in 12 year for Mello and Matt.

"I'm gonna die...Mello counted his fingers..."when I'm 20?"

But Beyond ran away out the window when Melly was busy counting, and escaped and scared an innocent little girl in a red coat with a basket.

And Mello,Matt and, Near were left to clean up the mess while Beyond plotted evil schemes involving jam, knives, and corpses.

And they lived happily ever after...for a while...

Muwhahahah! (I might just make another one of these)


End file.
